Friday, May 1, 2015

Centenarian Lands First Solo Art Show -- And Her Work Is Amazing


FRIEDALEFEBER

When you publish your autobiography at age 88, you must think that's it, right? Not so for Frieda Lefeber, who recently turned 100 and is celebrating her first solo art exhibit of 65 landscape and portrait paintings, now on display through April 7th at Rosemont College in Pennsylvania. Truth is, Lefeber could certainly write a few dozen more chapters to her 2003 memoir, "Frieda's Journey" and plans to, she told The Huffington Post.
She lives on the third floor (walk up) of her 60-year-old daughter Hope's house and shops, cooks dinner for the family and cleans up every night. She also exercises five mornings a week at either Curves or with a trainer. And yes, she still drives and says she doesn't need glasses thanks to cataract surgery about 20 years ago. She does like to take a nap daily, but just for an hour at most. "I sleep well," she said.
"I have very good genes," she said, noting that "An ancestor lived in Germany to be 114. I try to emulate him." She has always eaten right and stayed active. As a nurse for more than 50 years, she said she saw too much suffering from bad lifestyle choices.
"If you can't stay active physically, at least stay active mentally. Play bridge or learn a language," she advised. She has studied Hebrew for eight years and now speaks it at a college level.
But Lefeber's life was not always easy. She is a Holocaust survivor who barely escaped Germany when she was 23. She recalled how her train was stopped at the border and a Nazi inspector spotted a fake ring on her finger. "Jews were not allowed to take jewelry or things of value with them with them when they left," she explained. She told the inspector that it was costume jewelry with little value, but still they removed her from the train to examine the ring more closely. The train began to slowly leave the station without her on board when the inspector handed her back the ring. "I ran after it and a Dutch conductor pulled me up. I almost missed the train. I got on board and almost collapsed," she told The Huffington Post.
When she arrived in America, she had just $4 to her name. Her sponsor was 2.5 hours late to meet the boat and immediately announced that the family could no longer afford to pay her to be their nanny. "The woman asked me 'where should I drop you off?'," recalled Frieda. "I had no one I knew in America except a pen pal. She took me to my pen pal's address and I waited three more hours for her to come home from work, hoping and praying she would let me stay. She lived in a one-bedroom apartment on 86th Street and had her two sisters living with her. She had no room for me. I slept on the floor for nine days, until I could find a job."
And she was unstoppable. She eventually became a registered nurse who worked in hospitals and a celebrity spa in New York.
Frieda didn't take up painting until she was 73 -- and earned a certificate from the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts 10 years later at age 83. She continues to travel frequently, enjoying trips to France and Italy to paint. She embraces life and lives it fully. About the only thing she doesn't do is spend much time online. She took a class in how to operate her computer two years ago but never really got into it, she said.
In speaking with her, it's clear that she's sharp as a tack. Her daughter Hope says "My mother's memory is better than mine. She recalls dates and relatives and who went to live where and when they did it."
Says Frieda about her painting: "I paint nonstop. Actually, sometimes I lose track of time and just keep painting into the early morning." And she prides herself on packing every day with activities.
"If you have too much time on your hands, you will wind up feeling sorry for yourself,

centenarian
centenarian
centenarian

4 Key Questions to Feel Fully Fulfilled and Content


4 Key Questions to Feel Fully Fulfilled and Content


“The person who lives life fully, glowing with life’s energy, is the person who lives a successful life.” ~Daisaku Ikeda
More often than not when we want to create something new or different in our lives, our true yearning is not about what we want to do on the outside that will make us feel fulfilled and content, but a certain way we want to feel in ourselves.
That fancy car might give us a feeling of power, or esteem, or pride. That successful business might make us feel like we “arrived” or we are recognized. That trip to Nepal might make us feel like a world-class adventurer. Losing 10 pounds might make us feel more desired.
But ultimately what we are really searching for is a certain experience we want to have on the inside.
When I was younger, I wanted to be an actress. I wanted nothing more than to express my emotions on stage.
Looking back, I realize I was trying to gain self-esteem through receiving applause. But inside, I really felt I didn’t matter. My true inner calling was to be able to freely express my feelings. Acting gave me a safe container to do just that.
When I became a psychologist, I had a desire to help others through their emotional strife.
The truth is I got a Counseling Psychology Masters degree to know myself more and understand the makings of my own psychology. I was able to help others and learn more about myself.
The point is there is always an underlying reason why we want something. And the key to feeling fulfilled is to become aware of why we want that something in the first place.
What are you really looking for? Meaning, what is the way you want to experience your being within?
Here are 4 key questions to explore what you really want to feel fully fulfilled and content:

1. How do I want to feel on the inside?

What is the feeling you desire? For example, are you yearning to feel freer? Ask yourself, “How might I create the experience of feeling freedom inside myself first—before striving for that external goal?”
Perhaps you struggle with accepting yourself as you are in the moment. If so, then, the intention could be to give yourself more permission to be who you are.
Once you experience this state of freedom on the inside, you will have the freedom to create what you want out in the world.
This goes with any inner state: joy, happiness, peace, creativity, aliveness, etc.

2. Is my drive to do something out in the world really a wish to escape my interior experience?

Many times we want something “out there” in order to mask or avoid something we are feeling within.
We might want a fancy car to make us feel special, only to realize once we have it that we want the next upgraded model.
We might go into a business just to make money, only to realize we feel as unfulfilled with money as we felt without it.
We might want to go to India, only to discover we are the same lonely person in India as we were in Indiana.
Or we lost 10 pounds because we wanted to feel sexier, yet we still don’t have the reinforcement from a man or woman we desire.
The key is to become aware if you are searching for something outside of yourself in order to feel better about yourself within.
For example, how might you reinforce your own specialness? How might you make loneliness your companion? How might you create a sensation of “sexiness” within?

3. What is my gut telling me?

Sometimes we are in touch with our feelings, but we have so many that we feel overwhelmed and don’t know which to follow.
A friend of mine is never in one town more than a few months at a time. Constantly on the move, he is an eternal wanderer.
While having coffee one day, I asked him what was next on his agenda, and he gave me a list of various choices. He could go to Italy, New York, Woodstock, or Thailand, and he backed each up with an interesting creative or business opportunity.
I asked him, “Which is the brightest star in that constellation? Which one out of all the places you mentioned is your Venus?”
He corrected me to say that Venus is not the brightest star because it is a planet. Cirrus is the brightest star and sometimes Mars is brighter than Venus. Even though his correction was right, it seemed he was avoiding answering my question. So I stopped waxing poetic and asked him instead, “What is your gut telling you?”
Obviously, our feelings shouldn’t always skipper the boat. But our gut can be our guide. It sends us messages.
Each town, job, and opportunity held interest for him. When he tuned into his inner being, he realized his current location had the most energy. After taking a moment he admitted he was looking for the next thing in order to avoid the deeper experience of remaining still in one place.
To discover what you really want, listen to your gut. Not the rational, explained, or reasonable mind but the part of you that is in touch with your inner needs.
For example, are you longing for happiness? What can you do right now in this moment to invoke that feeling? Maybe a ride on your bike in the park on a bright summer day with a friend gives you joy. Invoke this energy within, and then bring it with you to all that you do.
What you produce from this internal feeling on the outside is secondary. What primarily matters is that you find ways to experience what you really want within.

4. How can I accept all that I feel?

Sometimes, we believe that in order to be successful we must always feel good, but pleasure is only a part of the equation.
The trick is to accept the fact that pleasure comes and goes—and so do the things we dislike, as well as the things we feel neutral about.
When I acted in theater, I received a high from the applause. But when the curtain closed and the set broke down, I went home by myself and often woke up in the morning feeling lonely and depressed.
When we do things for the sole desire to receive pleasure, we set ourselves up to feel dissatisfied and disappointed when we don’t have it.
Understanding that with life there are good sensations and bad sensations and even at times neutral sensations, we are able to go about our day-to-day more faithfully assured, balanced, and relaxed.
When we go after our dreams less attached to what the result gives us and more interested in the unfolding process, we have more choice in how we experience each moment along the way.
Look for ways to invoke the feelings you want from life on an inward level first. Then you won’t need to grasp at externals to feel fulfilled and content because you’ll already have what you truly want within.

By   a  Counseling Psychologist.